last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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