so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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