Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize