it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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