If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
