if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize