playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
