So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
