if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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