Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
