my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
