We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
