literally had 100 drinks last night.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize