id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
