Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
