Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
