matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
