so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
