Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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