If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
