So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
