to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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