It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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