My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
