i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
