i jhust puked up my retainher.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
A bitchslap is in order.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
