i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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