i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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