I want to walk on stilts...naked
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
