You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
