Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
