WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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