I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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