By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
