Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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