So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Is her dick bigger than yours?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
