He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
that is very illegal...i love you.
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