my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
