Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
