I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
