good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize