i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
