Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
