Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
