So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
