and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
