I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
