Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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