I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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