i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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