Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
