Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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