Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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