she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
