i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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