Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
