Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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