I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
