Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
