So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize