Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
