i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
