Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
