someone owes me an orgasm
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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