I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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