Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
