i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
