Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
