watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
