ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
