That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
