His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
birth control should be required to get into college
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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