We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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