just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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