He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
