I bet he comes in French.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
