im drinking this country out of the recession.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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